Archive for February, 2010

I’m not a business expert (hello, I studied Bio in college), but I do think that a business does need a definitive business plan. A goal…focus… objective. So why, when I visited my new dentist yesterday, did I feel as though I was in 5 different business strategies under one roof?

I will admit first-off that I am slightly jaded by the dental profession. I don’t enjoy a stranger picking my teeth with sharp metal objects. I especially don’t enjoy that stranger when she shoves plastic x-ray trays that are 3 sizes-too-large-for-my-jaw over and over because her software isn’t working. Not my problem, chica – maybe you need better equipment. However, I am doubly irritated when the dentist forgets her sole business purpose: to safely and effectively maintain her clients’ teeth. No, I didn’t come to your office to eat freshly baked cookies (hmm – doubt those are sugar-free. looking for repeat business?), or to get my hands dipped in paraffin wax before my treatment, or to discuss my sentiment about the shape and color of my teeth (while your hands are deep in my mandible), and especially not to sample your personal brand of face cream. I mean, wtf?

Once a company loses focus of its mission to the client, the client can easily question the motivation of the company (greedy little bitches) or become uncomfortable/distracted by the lack of streamlined service. Personally, when I visit a doctor I want to be comfortable with the procedure being performed, and I want to trust the staff. When the staff are arguing about the tray arrangement of previously mentioned fresh-baked cookies, I highly question their competence.

I think there are lessons to be learned from this experience. What are our personal goals in our relationships, work and society? Are we focusing on the bling – the fresh-baked cookies, the face cream and paraffin wax – aspects of our life? While the glitz and glam is attractive, it’s not who we are. New goal set: streamline life focus to tangible and wholesome goals. Who are you?


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Apparently I am naïve on people’s perspectives about proper etiquette for the landscaping of nether-regions. I was under the assumption that it’s a non-negotiable housekeeping task: keep it neat! Heaven forbid one gets in a car crash only for the delicious surgeon to discover that your loin cloth is permanently attached. Or a bout of spontaneous sex with McSteamy is quickly curbed due to the profound chafing….

Supposedly not everyone feels the way that I do – that it’s not mandatory to keep a set of tools handy for special up-keep – in fact, it’s not even on their radar. They look at me as though I am the one that needs to be hand-held through a discussion of proper social behavior. They asked me where I came up with the idea. I responded that I started my maintainance plan in high school, and that I haven’t deviated since (minus one break-up episode in which I decided to go free for one week – didn’t end well). They were astonished by my confidence that, yes, everyone I know – male and female – partakes in the same behavior. And it’s not a social pressure, or vanity, or anything that Big Brother has intimidated me to do. It’s comfort. It’s polite. I mean – who is really going to perform anything oral on someone who is all puffy and out of control? Just sayin…

My friends and I pondered this phenomenon and hypothesized a few ideas of where this ‘unkempt’ approach originated. Hippie? Nope, even my hippie friends admitted to the benefits of good nether region housekeeping. Age? Nah…all the high school kids I grew up with had my same philosophy. Demographic? Perhaps beer chugging men with abdominal overhangs would lose their manliness by trimming. Maybe they just can’t see their genitals. Heritage? Overly hairy people might not trim much if it gets unruly 5 seconds later – maybe it just blends in with the rest of their fur.

Either way – I suppose it only matters if your partner insists/suggests a preference. I just know quite a few people who wouldn’t have it any other way…

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There’s a new tradition brewing in Fifi-land: test kitchen Sundays. Since I have hoarded hundreds of recipes from Bon Appetit, Fine Cooking, Everyday Food, FoodNetwork, etc etc etc…I need a time and a place (and a bunch of hungry mouths) to give me the motivation to whip up a selection of goodies. If they pass inspection – then they go into the recipe file. If not – into the recycling can.

This week was fairly mundane. My contribution consisted of Root Vegetable and Mushroom Pie w/Rosemary Biscuit Topping, Beer Biscuits (trial run for Super Bowl party), and a recipe for Hot Italian Milk Cake.

Results: the hot milk cake is a definite keeper. Very Old World – slightly lemon flavored and low in sugar. My Polish grandmother is even a fan. The other two contestants…not so much.

The beer biscuits were rather dry and unflavorful – maybe I’ll try a mixture with ham and Gruyère cheese instead. And the veggie bake was reminiscent of a dish served by Bill Knapps – no teeth required ya’ll! I mean, really, baking vegetables for over 2 hours with simmering and resting, yada yada yada results in a meal with baby food consistency. The biscuit topping didn’t mesh well with the earthy flavor of the vegetables, either. However, I did get to use a celery root for the first time.

If anyone has suggestions for next weekend, I would greatly appreciate some tried and true’s.

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